I know you've been burned, but every fire is a lesson learned

I'm quite happy just now.
I'm making some progress on the job front, applied for some and got some other prospects (Do you think i could be a prison officer? :/). The most exciting one is an assistant social worker which i think would be really awesome, so fingers crossed. I don't know why i didnt go to connexions to start with, theyre surprisingly helpful.
And i'm definitely going to apply to BCOT to do hospitality in september, which is v exciting too.
So everything is goodish all in all.

x

My pc is very very dead at my dads, hence my ridiculously long absence.
I miss it so much, and soph, it is really helping towards that recluse goal of mine :/. Not good.
You'd think it would do the oppsite, but actually it just means i can't msn and so instead i read. A LOT. i've read 8 books in a week. Little bit worrying. Now im dying though because it's a series and the next one doesnt come out til april!! :(
And sorry this is a really dull post but i'm writing this in the three minutes i have until dinner at my mums.
Hopefully my pc will be fixed at my dads soon, if not you may never here fom me again ...

xx

And then all of a sudden came a sound like the end of the world...

...and then we heard that it was.
I want to go to culinary college so bad, but i looked into it today and it's gonna cost like £16500 not including travel.

So basically, i don't think it's gonna happen, at least not for a couple of years. It does give me something to work towards though, which is always a good thing.

There's this one school i really want to go to in Woking. The course looks really amazing and i get a proper qualification at the end of it, and you get to do a load of work experience at some top London restaurants including Gordon Ramsay's. :O!! I would love it, i know i would.

I might change my mind about the whole thing tomorrow though. I tend to get all excited about something, and then lose interest and it doesn't happen. With things like this, i think it's me trying to not get disappointed. It just means i never actually end up DOING anything.

So i'm going to try and cling onto this one. I think i could do it. I just need to work for a year or so and raise the cash. That's without even thinking about finding somewhere else to live.

This whole no school thing is HARD. I knew it was going to be, and i don't regret it but i miss the whole atmosphere of it in a weird way. That's why i need to get back into a job or something where i'm around people a lot. Otherwise i'm going to turn into some kind of recluse who never comes out of the house and just sits around eating quiche and watching movies :/

What's worse is that i kind of like the sound of that.

x

And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again. And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.

This is the grace that only we can bestow. This is the price you pay for loss of control.

Living in a jar, think the lids the sky. You're hoping for a saviour on your cross outside.


2 weeks til we see BRAND NEW!!!! =D

I'd sell my sould so I could give it back to him

Getting a little bored of the snow now.
I'm trapped in my house and in the last 3 days have watched 9 movies.
Such a productive use of my time eh?
But they were all good and worth watching:

1. The Kite Runner (finally)
2. Rachel Getting Married
3. The Mummy (only the 1000th time)
4. Harry Potter 6
5. Yes Man
6. Australia (distinctly average)
7. Kalifornia (weeeeeird)
8. Pathfinder (quite good in a weird way)
9. Priceless (again, i really love this movie)

And new music wise, I freaking love The snake The Cross The Crown.
They own my ears just now.
x

HAHAHAHA. I just read my posts back.
I really didnt quit bitching and moaning after the 25th od august did I?
oops :/
x

And she longs to pretend, that they'll all just disappear

neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I have to start properly job hunting today.
If i don't get a job soon i think i may well be homeless.
I really want my own place, but being realistic, it isn't gonna happen for a while.
I want to get a job where i meet some awesome new people who happen to be looking for a house and we can get one together and have lots of fun times and be away from shitty things like Fathers who say "Well it's my fucking house" every other sentence. Because being totally frank, i may well pummel him next time he says it.

I want my old ipod back too. Isn't it weird how when you can't listen to certain music, it's all you want to listen to?
Currently having major Matthew Santos and Flo and the Mach cravings.

I feel bad, becky wasnt in any of the new year pics i posted:

Happy NEW Year!

I would've written this yesterday but I was busy being ill. Which was totally not self inflicted, despite what most people think. My whole family is dying its very unfun.

Despite the sickness I had a REALLY good new years eve.

This year's going to be good. I can feel it.

Happy Birthday to me, Happy birthday to me :)
I'm eighteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!

:) x

I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED A JOB!
It really depresses me that i've hardly been able to buy any presents this year.
But never mind.
I turn 18 in exactly 8 days! How exciting is that!?
Legally allowed to do every single thing. EXCEPT hiring a car, and since i can't drive, that isn't much of an issue just now.