Oh love won't you come and take me, away from here

I'm Home :) Which is very wonderful. And since she told me she found my blog i shall take a few seconds to thank the sarah child for keeping me sane (as much as is possible) the last few days.

Also, I'm not really going to go into speicifics, but i have lots of irritatingly deep things buzzing around me head that i dont really know how to begin talking about. Which is really annoying because for once i actually do want to talk about them. I just feel VERY incapable of doing so without creating lots of horrid awkwardness. I want to avoid the shitty times that will occur if i say them out loud. BUT....
Its all very gay.

I'm gonna go write some very scary, emotional poetry that no one will ever read (y) Maybe that will help, but i doubt it. Shit.

:(

I might actually jump out of a window quite soon. I'm on a stupid biology field course in totnes (middle of nowhere in the west country). That in itself would be quite nice except for the fact that everyone here is irritating the fuck out of me.
But yeah, i could really do with some love cos i might actually cry soon.
Love you guys x

Particularly special msn conversation :/

my room has a very strange smell of coffee wine and insense

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

SINGLE 30 YEAR OLD WOMAN SMELLS

LOL

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

hahahaha

no it smells nice but peculiar

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i bet

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

i dont want to smell of a 30 year old

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

im joking

just reminded me of bridget jones lol

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

hahaha aw i love bridget jones so much

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

me too

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

oh god though

coffee wine and incense

thats my future summed up

haha

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

noooo it isnt

therell be some other things in there too

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

haha i wouldnt mind it

coffee and wine is good and paper is just dandy

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i really want a glass of wine right now

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

i love wine so much

we should get our own stock up for relaxing times

oh god we're gunna be such alcoholics.

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

indeed

my mums like a hawk with wine though

its a bit scary

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

its ok in a few months youll be able to buy your own

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

ah shit

thats so weird

6 months

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

omg

half a year to we all get ruined by alcohol

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

it feels like 2 days ago i was saying a year

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

whooo.

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

thats strange

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

hahaha

omg thats MENTAL

its been 6 months til our shopping trip to london

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

thats ridiculously strange

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

6 months! the fact these years are going to quick is actually really frightening

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i know

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

is that how life happens?

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

thats like 140th of our life probably

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

is it like OH SHIT IM 43

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

my dad always says he still doesnt know what he wants to be when he grows up

it is gonna be like that isnt it

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

haha oh wow

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

are you having a bit of a breakdown or is it just me?

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

no i really am

im like freaking out a bit

i was talking to laura friday night and we were like

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

im actually scared

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

what the fuck is going to happen to us

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

im probably about 1/4 the way throught my life

thats really unfunny

we are going to become actual hobos :\

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

oh god dont

im actually going to fail at life

and i know everyone says that

but i really think its true

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i completely agree with you

not about you, about me

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

i dont have any ambition or motivation and ill just coast along life and get a job in some shop for 40 years and live off minimum wage and ill be like LOL SHIT IM 60

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

and it worries me that i cant even muster up the energy to care but on these short outbursts

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

and omg ill have like 6 kids and have an unhappy marriage and everything will just be shit

or ill just be alone living with cats and mice

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

its alright though

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

either way

itll be a bit shit.

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

cos me and laura will still be buzzing around

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

omg im gunna be the friend who failed at life

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

omg this is so depressing

this is not going to happen

you really arent

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

ill be the one who people are like "aww, its such a shame, she had so much potential"

"too bad she was a fucking waistoid"

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i am going to be just as shockingly bad

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

HAHA

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

trust me

i cant do anything for myself

oh god we are gonna really suck

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

i know

i dont what would be worse

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

we'll be fine though cos we'll be just like we are now

and not even care that we suck so bad

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

i do care though

thats the thing

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i half do, but only at times like this

i think i subconsciously suppress it or something

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

i just see me being such a failure in the future

like i really really do

im gunna be such a wreck

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

we'll be fine

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

i wont have a good job or love life or house or enough money and i wont have travelled and ill be pissed all the time and have friends who are all potheads and ill be living in a squat

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

you know thats not gonna happen

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

hahaha no i know but it was quite amusing to imagine (and also horrorifying)

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

cos for one thing the most successful of us wont let that happen

/we'll be living with you

eek

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

hahahhaa

omg i love you for the last bit hahaha

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

ih dear

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

shit though

i really cannot picture myself happily married

or in a job that im happy in

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

me either at all

i get bored so easily

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

it just doesnt fit with who we are

ahh i know i know

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i keep forgetting harriet and sarah are coming to india

makes me smile everytime i remember

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

LOL OMG ALL THIS CONVERSATION STARTED FROM MY ROOM SMELLING WEIRD

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

HAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

hahahahhahahaa

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

we just had a nervous breakdown over room scents

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

LOLOLOL

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

that was a bit amazing

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

lol omg

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i just did a proper belly laugh

ow

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

hahahhaha!

i hope someone got to hear it

and think youre a psycho

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

maybe next door

the walls are quite thin and it was quite a cackle

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

hahahaha oh good

Charlotte - - - Suffer fate cos its all the lift you've got - - - says:

i even did a squeaky laughing inhilation

which made it worse

Ellalala take this sinking boat and point it home says:

yay

omg though that was so special of us

i think it could be quote worthy

Today is a day for:

• Rediscovering old friendships
• Trying to listen more
• Recovering from sickness
• Believing in people who need it
• NOT BOASTING!
• Putting a bit more effort in
• yeah.... all that good stuff

Thinking inside the box...

....Because i am a failure (y)

We're all laughing, we're all faking, just to see you smile.

This is me, not sleeping again :/ My dads house is a tip, so i'll be cleaning all night. Who needs sleep anyway.

In 56 and a half hours, my life will officially be stress free (for all of 4 days :/) and i cannot wait. During those 4 wonderful days i am going to:

1. Download ridiculous and excessive amounts of new music
2. Watch the entrie first season of prison break (at least) and the second season of pushing daisies
3. SLEEP
4. Lay in the sunshine and read an entire book.
5. Not get up before 11
6. Generally be (more of) a lazy person

Until then, time for actually revising i think, though whether it turns out that way remains to be seen. So, time to start.