Happy Birthday to me, Happy birthday to me :)
I'm eighteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!

:) x

I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED A JOB!
It really depresses me that i've hardly been able to buy any presents this year.
But never mind.
I turn 18 in exactly 8 days! How exciting is that!?
Legally allowed to do every single thing. EXCEPT hiring a car, and since i can't drive, that isn't much of an issue just now.

So... that's the end of school for me.
I feel like i should be more upset than I am.
Obviously i'm hugely disappointed in myself and i know it's gonna be crazy hard to get a job at the minute.
I just can't find it in myself to be upset about it, because i hope it's gonna be the thing that gets me out of this house.
The only thing i'm really upset about is that it's disappointing my parents. AND that my sisters, who are nowhere near as clever as i am!
GRRR!

x

I've had a very nice day. Did lots of family type things with the mother and managed to be civil and good. Walked the woofies and decorated the tree and shit. It was good :)

I'm really loving my music at the minute. Top things just now are:
- Mumford and sons
- The Xx
- Ellie Goulding
- Biffy Clyro
- And the new Rihanna song which is really awesome and a bit bond themey

:)

You desired my attention but denied my affections

I haven't slept.
I'm angry and sad.
I don't know what to do with myself.
It's fucking freezing and I don't want to go to school.
Maybe i should tell them what's going on? At the minute I'm pretty sure they just think I'm going mad or I'm depressed or something.
Maybe I am.
Who knows?
Sure as hell not me.

My mums gone away for 2 days and I'm really fucked off.
Not at her, at myself for being incapable of telling her what's going on in my head. What no one seems to understand is that i honestly don't know most of the time.

All I want is a good Mummy hug. Is that too much to ask for?