I hold an image of the ashtray girl, by the cigarette burns on my chest.

I know i should be more open on this thing.

It annoys me because that was the whole point of it in the first place, and now its just all pointless and cryptic and only i understand what the hell im talking about.

Tis silly.

So i shall just say the 5 overwhelming feelings i have right now are:

1. Anger at myself for being such a lazy fucktard.


2. Doubt about whether i did the right thing with alex :/ Though it comes in waves and i'm faaairly sure i did.


3. Excitement about MO and reading and 3OH!3


4. Shit scaredness about my exam results and India


5. Impatience about being 18...

See i was planning on ^ that being all heartfelt and shit. But its just another annoying list.

I dont like not being able to communicate well..